- A man is sitting in a train compartment. He sees a three-fingered hand through the compartment window, in the hallway of the train. He opens the compartment door and shoots the person with the three-fingered hand, but he goes free. (Michael Bernstein)
- He’s with a policeman, who’s taking him to jail, and he uses the policeman’s gun. He was convicted of his wife’s murder; she had framed him for it somehow, involving cutting off two of her own fingers and mailing them to the police. Since he had already been convicted of her murder, he couldn’t be tried twice for the same crime, and since he obviously hadn’t actually been guilty before, he’s set free. The main problem with this question is that as far as I know, that’s NOT how the “double jeopardy” law works, and so it couldn’t happen in real life.
- The pope is giving a speech. A man in the audience shoots the mayor who is behind the pope. (PRO)
- The pope has returned to the village where he began his priesthood fifty years earlier. He was late for the ceremony, so the mayor spoke first; he claimed to be the first person to give confession to the pope, fifty years earlier. When the pope arrived, he related that the first confession he had heard was that of the murder of a young woman. The man in the audience had a sister who was murdered at that time. The sanctity of the confessional is conveniently ignored.
- A holy man is dead in a room. (Perry Deess original)
- The man is a Moslem. He was caught stealing, and so his right hand was cut off. However, he’s very devout, and thus isn’t allowed to eat using his left hand; so he starved to death.
- A woman goes into a convenience store to buy a can of Coke. She pays for it with a $20 bill and receives $22 in change.
- It’s in Canada; she pays in American money and receives change in Canadian money.
- A man goes to a hardware store to buy a certain item. He asks the salesman how much this item costs to which he answers, “They are 3 for $1.00.” The man say, “Okay I’ll take 100,” to which the salesman correctly replies, “That will be $1.00.” The man pays $1.00 and leaves satisfied. What is the item?
- House numbers.
- A man is lying dead in a pool of blood and glass.
- The man caught a large fish and was so excited he went to a phone booth to call his wife. In trying to describe the size of the fish, he said, “It was THIS big!” and stretched his arms wide to indicate its length. His arms went through the sides of the phone booth, his wrists were sliced by broken glass, and he bled to death.
- A man makes a telephone call and dies.
- The man was ringing his wife, and learned from her that he had won the lottery. In jumping for joy he broke through the glass wall of the telephone booth and cut his wrists whereupon he bled to death.
- The seals came up to do their show but immediately dove back into the water.
- The seals were frightened by an audience of nuns, who, to the seals, looked like a herd of killer whales.
- In his own home a man watches as a woman dies, yet does nothing to save her.
- He saw it happening on TV.
- King Henry VIII is lying at the bottom of the stairs with a gash across his face.
- It is a painting of Henry VIII.
- A man travels to twenty countries and stays in each country for a month. During this time he never sees the light of day.
- The man is a mummy, on tour to different museums throughout the world.
- A boy and his father are injured in a car accident. Both are taken to a hospital. The father dies at arrival, but the boy lives and is taken to surgery. A grey-haired, bespectacled surgeon looks at the boy and says, “I cannot operate on this boy — he’s my son.”
- The surgeon is the boy’s mother.
- A husband coming home hears his wife call “Bill, don’t kill me!” He walks in and finds his wife dead. Inside are a postman, a doctor, and a lawyer, none of whom the husband knows. The husband immediately realises the postman killed his wife.
- The postman is a man. The doctor and lawyer are women.
- Two trains run for a certain distance on the same track, in opposite directions. Why don’t they collide?
- They run at different times.
- Baseball team A beats baseball team B ten to nothing, even though not a single man on team A scores a run.
- It’s a women’s team.
- A man called to a waiter in a restaurant, “There’s a fly in my tea!” “I will bring you a fresh cup of tea,” said the waiter. After a few moments, the man called out, “This is the same cup of tea!” How did he know?
- The man had already sugared his tea before sending it back.
- A man drives over a broken glass bottle. He travels the last 100 miles of the Sahara 5000 roadrace with a flat tire.
- The flat tire is his spare.
- A man was walking along some railroad tracks when he noticed that a train was coming. He ran toward the train before stepping aside.
- The man was on a bridge, closer to the end the train was approaching from.
- An Arab sheikh tells his two sons that are to race their camels to a distant city to see who will inherit his fortune. The one whose camel arrives last will win. The brothers, after wandering aimlessly for days, ask a wise man for advise. After hearing the advice they jump on the camels and race as fast as they can to their destination.
- The wise man tells them to switch camels.
- Two children born in the same hospital, in the same hour, day, and year, have the same mother and father, but are not twins.
- The children are two of a set of triplets.
- On an archeological dig, the frozen remains of a man and woman are found. Immediately, the archeologists realize that the remains are those of Adam and Eve.
- The two bodies lacked what only Adam and Eve would lack — bellybuttons.
- A woman gives a man a piece of food; he eats it and dies as a result. Although it’s widely known that she did this, the woman is never brought to trial.
- The woman is Eve, the man Adam.
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